today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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