I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
