If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
