1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
