scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
