speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
