i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
