You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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