At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize