It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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