He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i think im in europe. pls send help
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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