well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
