I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
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If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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