I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
