I don't usually arrange sex via text message
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
