do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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