I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize