youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
