I just saw a hot homeless man
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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