He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
