dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
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Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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