Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize