I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
