If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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