If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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