North Korea, Best Korea!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
