it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
