so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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