who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
