why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
