I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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