I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
