The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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