Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
