Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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