hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
