theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
