An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
