So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
