Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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