her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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