HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize