Soap is not a condiment
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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