My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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