a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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