Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
