you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
