I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
