am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
