At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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