im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
