Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
