like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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