he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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