if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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