he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
