Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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