You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
