I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize